Who you were meant to be.

I am letting go of who I thought I was meant to be and am becoming someone completely different and it's sometimes terrifying because it has changed the course of my life.

A year ago I thought I would have a 9-5 full-time job and have my own place and live with my best-friend cat, Calvin. My goal was to live a quiet life and just have some peace and comfort. I felt secure, which is something I've always striven for. Life had other plans for me. Last year my cat died suddenly and my world got flipped upside down. Calvin dying brought up a lot of new and buried pain that I've had to work through, all childhood stuff. Feeling that pain and transforming it has changed my life and I've been doing so many new things that I never would've thought I'd be able to do.

For starters I let go of my 9-5 job, not easily, more like the rug was pulled under me but overall I think that I am not meant to be a warehouse worker, my dreams have always been too big and by staying there I would be playing small. I am now back in college and am three classes away from getting a Fashion Design II certificate. I went from no exercise to now doing aerial classes and taking dance classes and I have always loved dancing and I am passionate about it. The difference about this year is that I've finally got around to doing things that I am so very passionate about. The boring, safe life that I wanted was too small for me and I am now expressing myself all the time through different creative ventures. Never has my intuition been so clear and becoming this person is so fulfilling and I wish it had happened with more ease and grace but life is not linear and it is so eventful.