Seedling

Have you ever wanted something more than absolutely anything? I have.

Me. My happiness. My peace of mind.

I have taken part in so many healing modalities. My healing has been focused on sexuality. I have been in groups where we've communicated non verbally, fully clothed with our genitals. It was actually very healing and totally bizarre. I cried that day, somehow doing that exercise made me realize how much I didn't feel like a woman, like I lacked something. Which is something that I felt had always been true. I lacked something, was abnormal. I am lucky that I have worked with so many people and will continue to work with people to help me work through my issues.

In these last few months, after years of working and feeling the grief (and anger) and healing I feel that I am finally coming back to what I am originally. Whole. Imperfect, but somehow Whole. It's kind of blowing my mind. There has been a shift and I feel like I have been a seed that has been in the ground and have finally began to rise and I'm slowly nudging the dirt above me to make way.

Dear readers, for today, I do not have not have sad weepy eyes.